Memory Bears
My dad died in hospice eight years ago. Amidst the rest of the formalities, paperwork, and brusque condolences from RN was the suggestion that my mother and I get memory bears. VITAS volunteers take whatever fabric is sent to them and make bears out of them for the living to hold onto, cuddle, grieve with, and pass on with time. My mother and I chose to have a pair of bears made out of my dad's old fatigues.
My bear sits by my ancestral altar. His little tie has my dad's Marine Corps tie tack stuck in it. When my mother died, I sent her bear to my niece as something to remember them both. They even have my dad's last name on it, so even if they somehow wind up with complete strangers, there's a chance that someone will recognize they're memory bears to commemorate someone special.
As a recipient, I highly recommend having one made. They would be a wonderful gift for a child who's lost a loved one, but as an adult it was very comforting. Losing a parent pitches you right back into childhood, feeling lost and afraid, wondering who's going to take care of you now. That memory bear was a piece of my father I could hold onto and something I still look at and touch all the time.
Many hospices have volunteers that make memory bears either for free or for a small fee. Search for volunteer services that make memory bears near you or have one made by companies like Keepsake Memory Bears, Blessing Bears, or an Etsy merchant.
