Always Go Now
On Tuesday, while still reeling from the fresh grief of our cat Remington dying that morning, my partner got the call that an old friend of his was in the hospital. The prognosis was not good. He handed me his phone to read through the texts sent by a mutual friend and asked, "Do you think I should go now?"
I stopped reading and looked up at him. My answer was immediate. "The answer is always 'Go now.'"
I can't credit working through so many deaths with that gem of wisdom. My parents are entirely responsible for instilling in me the idea that you have to take every opportunity to be with people, whether they're in the hospital or just going to be in town. It's something I try to pass on to everyone in my life. People often die unexpectedly, leaving unfinished business in their absence. Why live with the regret of not having done everything you can, whether it's fixing an argument or simply calling your grandmother more often?
Unfortunately, too many don't take this lesson to heart. I've watched time and again as someone didn't follow through with what the felt they needed to do only to find it was too late. Nephews who didn't show up to say goodbye to their uncle in hospice, grandchildren that found out their grandmother passed without checking on her, former friends that let grudges go on for far too long. In every case, news of the death was followed with "I regret that.." or "I wish I had..." It's heartbreaking when even those instances don't teach them and they express the same regrets death after death.
One thing about living a death positive life is that you are constantly reminded to live. You are reminded that life is fleeting and that you mustn't live with regrets. Every opportunity must be taken to do the work within yourself, even if it means finally putting a relationship to rest. I'm happy to say my partner did listen and we left immediately for the hospital to spend some time with his friend. He's still in bad shape and anything could happen, but I hope my partner learned a valuable lesson to apply to his life as a father, son, brother, and uncle: always go now.
Note: The tag memento mori on this post refers to the translation, "Remember you must die."
