A delay in my End of Life Doula Certification
Today I was supposed to start my death doula training for certification. Instead, I have a list of stuff designed to keep me busy. Mid-September, something came up that needed me to drop a chunk of money into it to fix for the house. By the time I got that money back into place, registration for that class was closed and I was too late.
The next class isn't until February. It took seven weeks of breathing through being upset, disappointed, and downright angry about it before I was able to tell someone that I had to miss my certification class and postpone my goals. Something I've worked really hard toward and busted my ass all Summer to save up the money for! I'll do it in February and move on with life, but I'm still really upset about it.
This morning I saw that the High Priest posted an event for the Temple for a transition ritual honouring the clergy members going to the next level. A ritual I should be a part of, going from Level 1 to 2, finishing the first third of one of my goals. Except I had to put that off, too, when I had to drop my clergy classes back in May. Salt in the wound. I'll start all over again this November, but that's just not the point. I'm not being "tested," I'm being put into positions where I have to choose my household over my goals. And it sucks.
So today I'm going to be keeping myself busy. I have a yard to clean up, the elementary school classroom where I do some of my volunteer work needs tennis balls on their chairs, I have arts and crafts to finish for my class tomorrow, final details to look up for my class on Dia de Los Muertos and La Santisima Muerte scheduled this weekend, and I'm contemplating a small fundraiser to donate hats and gloves to the school for kids that lose theirs during the winter.
It's just a delay, not a reflection on me or my motivation and determination. I'm definitely not giving up. I just need a day to mourn what I should be celebrating before I can get back to my feet and keep going. This is the season for shadow work, and a little bit of work with the Morrigan and La Santisima Muerte might do me some good to help me find the balance I need between taking care of my household and achieving my goals. Regardless, I felt a hiccup in my plans was important to document here so that readers will know none of this is easy.
